There are only two types of cheese

I have to say I’m pretty excited right now. Something I thought was beyond the realms of possibility has happened; I’ve found decent cheese in America. And not only have I found decent cheese, I’ve found a mountain of deliciously enticing dairy goodness.

I’ll tell you where I am in a moment, but first let me take you back a few weeks, to when my pursuit of lactose began.

It started with milk. I really wanted just a small amount of milk to make a cup of tea. And I mean I really wanted it. I wanted the milky comfort that tasted like home to wash away some of my homesickness.

After several reconnaissance missions, I’d failed to retrieve a single drop of fresh milk. I’m not discounting the fact that being jet-lagged could have played a part in this, but it definitely seemed far more difficult than I expected. Whereas in the UK you can’t walk more than a few streets without passing a corner shop selling cartons of milk, stores selling food are strangely out of sight in the US.

It wasn’t until I needed something from a pharmacy that I discovered that they hide a shocking secret; they sell milk. They also often sell booze as well, but that’s for another blog on another day.

This discovery triggered an immediate addiction. I wanted to neck whole bottles of milk even before I’d got them out of the store. I wanted to wear a milk moustache all of the time. This created a new issue: saving enough milk to make cups of tea.

Even with this new insider information it’s not always plain sailing. I have to dodge the precariously similar products, wearing near identical packaging to make me think I’m buying plain old milk. Vanilla flavoured milk is one that’s caught me out, the sweet, sickly, flavour just isn’t right.

With one dairy craving more than satiated, a new one started bubbling. This time it bubbled in curdled milk form. Cheese. I wanted cheese.

Several weeks into my trip I made a decision to get milk and cheese. I would take the bus and get some dairy. Yes, that was the main mission for the day. Cheese and milk. Milk and cheese.

Imagine my horror when a large chain store which sold almost everything under the sun informed me that they don’t sell milk. On further probing they took me to an aisle where the cartoned drinks were shelved. In amongst the coconut milk, soy milk, everything-but-plain milk, I found a pack of six lunch box drinks of long life milk. They were almost out of reach, obviously not a big seller.

I share with you here a photo of the only cheese available in the store. It’s spray cheese. This was one disappointing day. I took the bus back to my hotel with a heavy heart and then drank UHT milk until I felt nauseous (three cartons back-to-back is enough to do that, if you wondered).

Fast forward several weeks, to a time when I’d given up hope. My cheese fantasies had died out. I had adjusted to the thought that I’d wallow in a vat of cheese when I got back to the UK. I’m in Eugene, Oregon, ordering a burger from a cart at the side of the road. I’m offered several choices of cheese to top my burger. I’m delighted. Is this really happening?

My cheese dreams are almost immediately snuffed out again. A conversation with someone that very evening contains this killer sentence from the lips of a fellow hostel guest ‘There’s only two types of cheese, orange and white’. I sob a little that evening as I fall asleep. Hope is dead.

Fast forward another couple of weeks and I’m in the supermarket buying a few essentials, when a display cabinet catches my attention. Is this a mirage, am I really loosing it, or is that really a counter with real cheese? I get closer, fearing the cabinet will vanish in a poof of smoke and be replaced by huge monotonous blocks of vivid orange rectangles which wear a label claiming them to be cheese.

I’m not dreaming – there is real cheese in there! I immediately buy a lovely piece. I am staying with some couchsurfers and I share my treasure with them that evening. Another delight- fellow cheese appreciaters! That’s when they tell me about the place I’m sat in right now.

Cheese Bar is heaven. Even the musty smells of the overripe blues smell delicious to me right now. This place is a gold mine for cheese lovers. I’ll be staying under the counter here until my flight back the UK or I eat their complete stock of cheese, whichever happens first.

Cheese Bar, Portland, OR. The exterior doesn't really do justice to the awesomeness that is to be found inside

CHEESE!

Contentment in Eugene

I waited for my luggage to appear on the single carousel at Eugene airport and wondered what this town had in store for me. My reason for being here was kind of whimsical, based on a recommendation by a stranger posted on a blog I’d written several months earlier. His enthusiasm for the place piqued my interest enough for me to add it to my itinerary.

The airport is possibly the smallest I’ve ever touched down in, but it has a few interesting items dotted about which filled my time before the carousel cranks into action. I can already sense the slightly quirky nature of the area from the airport decoration, which includes a lifesize model of a plane that will never fly, and two model ducks that tower a couple of feet taller than the people they greet.

Like most people I’ll meet in my time in Eugene, the shuttle bus driver can’t quite put into words what made him choose to settle in Eugene over 30 years earlier. An indescribable force made him put down roots and leave behind his native L.A.

The smell of incense drifts along the corridor as I make my way to the hostel reception. People wearing tie-die t-shirts sit behind a counter lined with an assortment of crystals, checking people in and smiling readily.

After dumping my bags, I explore the area. The pleasant smell of hops cloaks the streets around the hostel, drifting from the nearby Ninkasi brewery. I discover independent shops and eateries on my wander and take in the quirky houses and gardens.

People are cycling and I see more bikes than cars on my short walk, and I wonder whether I’m still in America. Front gardens spill onto the paths and everything appears a refreshingly verdant green after the dry conditions of California.

A large trumpeted blue flower helicopters from a tree branching over the pavement and comes to rest in my hair. I pluck it out and examine it, smiling. I realise I feel something I’ve missed in the hectic cities on my last few stops: contentment.

Going nowhere fast

Street-side seating outside a private home, complete with retro hairdriers

The classic 'pair of shoes over a power line' gag, although I get the feeling this was probably the source of what was to become imitated around the globe

Mosaic in the pavement, I don't imagine it's 'official', instead I think a local probably made the most of some wet concrete to make something beautiful

And the award for the most unique front porch in Whitaker goes to...

Even the missing cat signs here are kinda quirky

An interesting front garden. Can you spot Mr Potato Head?

Amazingly-delicious cocktail at Pizza Research Institute, Whitaker, Eugene. They also do fabulous pizzas!

Some blogs you should check out

Massive thank you to Confessions of a Nomad for nominating me for The Versatile Blogger Award!  Please check out her blog here: http://confessions-of-a-nomad.com

The rules for the award are:

Nominate 15 fellow bloggers who are relatively new to blogging. Let the nominated bloggers know that they have been nominated for this award. Share 7 random facts about yourself. Thank the blogger who has nominated you. Add the Versatile Award picture to your post.

7 random facts about myself:
1. I have two different sized feet (thought apparently that is common, or am I deluding myself?!)
2. I have set myself a challenge of visiting every US state and my current trip I’m planning to clock up ten.
3. I have 2 house rabbits which totally rule the roost at home!
4. I used to love fish with parsley sauce when I was a kid and now I can’t stand seafood or parsley.
5. I love the Sziget music festival and I’m planning my 6th (or maybe 7th?!) visit this year.
6. Until I was 16 my nearest neighbours were over half a mile away, but I now live in the city centre in Sheffield.
7. Budapest is my favourite city.

Here are 15 great bloggers that i’d like to nominate:
Jump for joy photo project – because these photos always make me smile 🙂
Pursuit of life – for travel in the US and afar
JCI Sheffield – if you want to hear about an inspiring group of folks in their 20s and 30s who are making a difference in their local community in Sheffield
The positivity blog – does exactly what it says on the tin 🙂
Metro – This is my only view into UK and world news at the moment ha!
Fabulous 50s – Who is having the time of her life!
Backpacking around the globe – Photos and adventures
Mike McMurray – for gorgeous photography of the lands I’m currently exploring
Vicky the Northern chicky – the most recent follower of my blog – welcome! And what a fab blog name!

Ok, I admit that’s not 15, but it’s a good few to be getting on with though right 🙂

A stroll with Yogi

A boy of about 10 says nonchalantly, ‘Hey Dad, there’s a bear over there’.

The father turns, as he replies with an obvious disbelief ‘Oh, yeah?’.

The kid points into the trees and the father’s eyes follow. ‘Oh there is a bear!’ the father exclaims.

'Yogi' is a juvenile brown bear

And that’s how I came to have an unexpected encounter with a wild bear in Yosemite. Tourists were marching around in their hundreds to a nearby waterfall and all but the child had missed the real star of the show.

Half dome is visible in the background. The more adventurous can hike to the top using the permanent wires bolted to the rock

Yogi was about half grown, and not in the slightest bit interested or distracted by the humans who began to line up to take a look.

He pottered around, pulling at branches and rummaging amongst the undergrowth. I imagine he was hoping for a pic-a-nic basket, but they are a tad out of fashion these days and most don’t linger long enough here in Jellystone, erm Yosemite.

Yellowstone was a natural marvel, and I feel sad to view it for such a short time on the tour. But as California’s 38th Governor once said, I’ll be back.

El Capitan, the largest granite cliff in the world. The youngest girl to ever climb it is from my hometown, Sheffield!

I think this was Hostel waterfall. This is close to where Yogi was hanging out

Redwoods

El Capitan, Half Dome and Bridal Veil waterfall all visible in this selfie 🙂

There’s never a good witness when you need one

The tour company had me over a barrel. The choices were to not pay any extra and visit the south rim, which entailed a 10 hour return journey for one hour at the canyon with a pretty poor view of it. Or I could upgrade and and go to the West rim. The extra $80 would reduce my travel times to 4 hours return and give me three hours at the canyon.

I didn’t want to be forced into this extra expenditure but the thought of 10 hours on that bus made me open my wallet. Although I seriously considered ditching the canyon altogether in favour of extra time in Vegas.

I slump into an uncomfortable doze on the coach. As is common on this trip I am woken by crackly Mandarin booming out of the speakers above my head. We’re ordered off the bus to quickly take photographs of the Hoover Dam where we’ve made a very brief stop. I take a couple of photos as I look at the dam through bleary eyes, before being corralled back aboard.

The next time I wake my teeth are being shaken out of my head as the bus navigates along what seems too be an off-road route. I close my eyes again, fearing the travel sickness will take over.

The first stop is the gift store, which is filled with over-priced wares. I bumble around, disinterested, waiting for the guide to give me my vouchers for the shuttle and lunch (everything at the Canyon is apparently based on voucher-exchange).

I hear what has become my name for this tour ‘VICTORIA! VICTORIA!’ and the guide impatiently hands me my vouchers. I try to get out a question, but she puts a hand on my back and pushes me towards the shuttle departure stop.

The second stop offers mediocre views and an eatery that looks distinctly unappealing. People elbow each other and sigh heavily, everyone trying to get a shot with a good background view and, the troublesome part, no one else’s head / arm / back looming into shot.

We’re penned into a fairly small area, and people queue to sit on a favoured rock which offers a reasonable photo potential. I line up with the rest, to take the exact same middle-of-the-road shot.

Then there’s an option to either join the lunch queue, or join the shuttle bus queue. I hover close to the food area, checking if what’s on offer is even remotely appealing. It isn’t.

People working are busy handing out gruel in exchange for vouchers and their demeanour does not invite questions. I look around for anyone else working there, to see whether it’s worth me chancing the food at the third and final stop, Guano Point.

I see a man hovering close to the rope barrier. As I approach I start to question whether he does in fact work there, or whether the care-worn Grand Canyon jumper he’s wearing is simply a sign he’s been here before. He looks at me, sucking his lips into the gaps where his teeth once lived and confirms his employment.

He struggles to understand my accent, but I get what I take is confirmation of the possibility of food at the next stop. I see him looking at the Union Jack emblazoned on my sleeve, with the words ‘United Kingdom’ across the centre. He reads is out, looking puzzled and asks ‘Where’s that?’.

‘United Kingdom, it’s in Europe. I’m from England’. I respond.

‘Oh. Never heard of it.’ He says, looking bored. Then he sees my camera and I can see the cogs in his mind begin to whir as he says excitedly ‘I’ll take a really good photo of you!’. He lifts the rope barrier and gestures for me to duck underneath. I look around, mildly panicked, looking for reassuring smiles from people.

‘Don’t look at anyone else, just go under’, he instructs. If I’d been feeling a little tense, this sentence took anxiety levels to 9 out of 10. I needed witnesses, I was about to be thrown off the Grand Canyon and I at least wanted someone to be able to give a description of the culprit. Where has everyone gone – oh no, this is it! Despite my fears I compliantly go under the rope, although I do manage to splutter that I wasn’t going anywhere near the edge.

If you’ve read my camera bombing blog, then you’ve seen the result. All I needed worry about was an embarrassing photograph. I’m still not sure whether he worked there or not, but I was just happy to be alive and not plummeting to my death.

The third and final stop was by far the best. The unobscured views to the base of the canyon and more freedom to walk around make it a far more satisfying stop. The helicopters flying around below look like toys, giving scale to the mammoth natural wonder.

A girl dressed in what I presume is an immitation of native american dress shivers against the wind and hugs her ski jacket around her as she counts heads onto the bus back to the main gift store which doubles as our group’s departure point.

Camera bombing

Travelling alone brings with it some perils. I’d readied myself for many of them, but camera bombing I really wasn’t expecting. It’s a pretty much daily occurrence for me, which I have to grit my teeth and endure politely.

What is this phenomenon, you may be wondering. Well here’s how it goes. I’ll be minding my own business snapping photos of whatever site / attraction / oddity that has caught my attention. Then they’ll approach, I’ll see them coming and be powerless to do anything about it. It’s the dreaded well-meaning amateur photographer, keen to help me document my journey.

The problem is I’m not a fan of having my photo taken. How to stand, what to do with my arms? It all sends me into a tizz.

I realised pretty recently that I had hardly any photos of myself; I’m always the one behind the camera. There isn’t much evidence that I’ve been to any of the places I claim, well not much evidence of the kind you can find without being a forensic investigator.

So I decided this trip needed to be different. It needed documenting on camera. As a result I’ve rapidly become pretty adept at at ‘selfies’, photos I take off myself. And actually it’s solved a problem, there’s no need to worry about how to stand and what to do with my arms, because they’re out of shot.

This is prime time for camera bombers to strike. They’ll see me taking a photo of myself and they’ll pity me. They’ll think what I really want is a full length photo of myself, but I must be too timid to ask. They are more than happy to oblige as a stand-in friend to take the photo they believe I’ve been dreaming of.

As a result I have a collection of unpleasant photos from this trip. Pictures of me looking awkward and faking a smile (just) as they take multiple photos of me that I really don’t want. Never will these photos adorn mantlepiece (if in the future I live somewhere with a mantlepiece, that is). They will be condemned to digital heaven with all the rest of the deleted photos of the world, destined to never be seen again.

My recent trip to the Grand Canyon was an unprecedented camera bombing bonanza. I was struck an impressive four times. It was special for another reason too, for this time they had me moving various limbs to capture that extra special moment for me. One with two arms outstretched (for which I was repositioned when I failed to comply to their artistic demands appropriately). The other, which I share with you here, is the most peculiar. This budding artist wanted one curved arm in the air; I had to immigrate his demonstration of the pose.

And do you want to know a terrible secret? I’ve realised that I’m a camera bomber, only too keen to snap people when they least desire it. I’m sorry, world.

Falling in love with a little town named Monterey

A weary passenger sat amongst her elderly travel companions on the final leg of what seemed like an impossibly long, hot, journey. As the minibus carrying the misfit companions rounded a corner, her eyes were greeted with a blazing orange sun sitting atop sand dunes the size of houses. She felt her throat tighten, taken aback by the sudden beauty which greeted her. That girl was me. This place is real. This is Monterey.

Today has been a nature-lovers dream. A wild deer trotted along a footpath beside me, I mistook if for a large dog for a moment as it overtook me on the path. A cyclist ahead of me appeared equally bemused. The deer, however, was just out for a stroll, ‘nothing to see here’ his nonchalance indicated.

The flowers are in bloom, the birds are nesting, the harbor seals are pupping; what a time to visit this magical place. Here are some of the many, many photos I took whilst I absorbed my surroundings with sheer joy.

A word a week challenge – this week’s word: sleep

I’ve seen some sleepy wildlife on my travels in California. I think the harbor seals are probably the kings of sleeping – I don’t think anything could wake them 🙂

California sealions, La Jolla, San Diego

Harbor seal, La Jolla, San Diego

Harbor seal, La Jolla, San Diego

Channel islands fax, Santa Barbara zoo

Channel Islands National Park

Arriving at the national park, already blown away by the experience with the humpback whales on the crossing over

Idly viewing a map of California I noticed a few small islands off the coast north of L.A. The writing over the northernmost islands grabbed my attention, ‘Channel Islands National Park’. This had to be investigated further with the aid of an ever helpful Google.

I could see dolphins in the waters below

The islands were reachable by just one provider, operating out of Ventura harbour. I hadn’t planned to visit Ventura, but having recently decided to ditch my inland route from L.A. and instead stick to the coast as far as San Francisco, I thought another stop couldn’t hurt.

Ravel chilling out on a sign-post

My motel looked suspiciously similar to the one used in TV series My Name is Earl. But the sticky carpet and extremely loud bedcover were more than worth it to experience nature at its best.

Staying well back from the edge, a tourist fell off the cliffs here last year!

The boat takes over an hour to chug across to the islands across the Santa Barbara Channel. I’d noted on their website that it was possible to see marine life on the crossing, but having spent a half-day whale watching further down the coast and seeing a solitary fin whale on the horizon, I didn’t allow my hopes to raise.

The islands which form the National Park have no permanent human residents

How wrong I was! I doubt I’ll see as many whales again in my lifetime as I did on that day. On the journey out a cow and calf humpback whale were playing with us, human watching. Swimming back and forth under our boat as we stopped to bob about and take in the spectacle. A migrating gray whale also put in an appearance on our outward journey.

I'm getting pretty good at selfies on this trip 😉

On the island my wildest hopes of seeing one of the indigenous island foxes where fulfilled! He pottered about casually, not in the least bit bothered by the excitement he stirred up. The size of a cat, this is one unbelievably cute animal.

Island Fox!

On our return journey we saw two more humpback cow and calf pairs, and two blue whales. At one point we were surrounded by whales on 3 sides of the boat! Seeing around 1000 dolphins, many with yong leaping at their sides, was the icing on the cake. I admit to shedding a small tear when the blue whales made an appearance, what a day!

Sad to leave the islands, but what a day it was

Not a great photo, but shows how they were diving under our boat 🙂

Car-crash tourism

I thought Hollywood Boulevard was an assault on the senses. In comparison to Venice beach though it was a gentile stroll dressed in 1900s garb, gently twirling a parasol.

Venice beach is an experience. And I write this with the disturbing, yet oddly compulsive, images fresh in my mind.

Sign at entrance to freak show, who knew freak shows still exist?

It’s hard to know where to begin, should I start with the guy holding a sign saying ‘will work for marajuana’ (his pitch was a very simple ‘marajuana – a little bit goes along way’), or should I start with the ‘stall’ – and I use the term in the loosest of ways – selling hobo signs, signs written by hand on scraps of card a la genuine homeless person style with phrases such as ‘hungry hobo’?

Somehow this two-headed four-legged duck is still cute

Or maybe I should start with the guy holding the sign saying ‘donations for penis reduction operation’ and loudly shouting that donations would be a service to womankind, or possibly the guy selling magic wands (twigs with stones glued to the top).

Conjoined lizards, look like they are cuddling, I just hope they like each other

No, wait, it’s got to be the guy inviting people to tuck dollar notes into his dog’s bikini. I am reliably informed by his handwritten sign that you can find his dog on YouTube by searching ‘Lisa Venice beach dog’ should you care to view this spectacle remotely.

Two-headed turtle, they had quite a few of these

It’s crowded, it’s hot, it’s dirty, it’s smelly, it’s noisey and the likelihood of being pickpocketed feel way above average; yet it’s car-crash tourism, and I just can’t help looking.

I go one step further, I go into a freak show. Having thought these were condemned to the annals of history, I am surprised to find one on Venice beach. Although if there was going to be one, I couldn’t think of a better location for it.

This chap is apparently in the Guinness book of records for his tattoos, he also has quite a number of facial piercings

Inside I find pickled corpses of various animals with more heads / legs / faces than they should have, accompanied by a woman with a beard (she’s alive, not pickled), a ‘wolf-faced man’ with hair over his whole face, and a dog with 5 legs, all of which are very much alive and kicking.

A fellow customer yaps excitedly about ‘a six-legged cow’ she’s seen on their TV show (apparently a series about the freak show is the most watched reality show on a TV channel I’ve never heard of), then pushes to get a view of the human freaks as close-up as she can get.

A short show where a man does hideous things with sharp objects, and a couple of other peculiar demonstrations and I’m herded back out, blinking in the bright sunshine and wondering what the hell just happened.

Enjoy is not a word I’d use to describe my Venice beach visit, but it’s certainly an experience unlike any other.