A guilt-ridden dread

The happy gleam in peoples eyes when they’ve asked about my trip has been a tad uncomfortable over the last few weeks. I’ve unconvincingly feigned excitement about my imminent travel plans, as much to fool myself as anyone else.

It shouldn’t have been that way, of course, they asked with the obvious assumption that I’d be excited about my upcoming trip. I should have been excited, right? After all, it’s me who made these plans – getting closer to fulfilling them should surely be the best bit?

Instead I’ve felt a foreboding, a sense of rapidly-approaching doom. Travelling alone, to a country I’ve been to only once, for 3 whole months – what was I thinking when I came up with this mad-cap idea?

As the date of my departure loomed ever closer, the worry blossomed into outright terror. I’m still in denial now, as I write this on the plane. Seriously. Will the worry subside and be replacedย by enjoyment – or at least a more manageable level of anxiety? I’ll let you know!


17 thoughts on “A guilt-ridden dread

  1. Di says:

    If anybody can make the most of this opportunity, you can. Come on girl,give it your all. Fozie

    • Thanks Di ๐Ÿ™‚ is Fozie a typo or a nickname?!

      • Fozie says:

        Its a nickname,from the Muppet show! Says a lot about me doesn’t it. Hope your weekends going well. X

    • P says:

      yes mother, what is fozie? is this some kind of typo or are Vicky and I just not down with the kids? I know K&H keep you up to date with the latest lingo.. x

      • Fozie says:

        Well, much as I’d like to be up with the latest lingo its a nickname from way back which I’ve let slip
        Fozzie is the big soft bear from the Muppet show.You don’t know what you’ve missed ! Lol..

  2. Uncle C says:

    You’ll be fine.
    CRL xx

  3. P says:

    Of course it will, and I hope it is already! This is the test of the real strength but I know you will surprise yourself. Onwards, upwards, and forwards xx

  4. P says:

    P.S. Loving the Yorkshire roses!

  5. Tobes says:

    Eh oop! In a day or two, you’ll be wondering what on earth you were worried about.
    Can’t wait to follow your goings-on. Drink in every moment.
    All the best,

  6. Jo says:

    Glad you arrived safe and sound. Missing you here in York, but loving following your every move. ๐Ÿ™‚

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